Lately I have been thinking about what people say, don’t say and the tone that comes with the things they do say. Studies indicate that women use, on average 25,000 words with men using 12,500. On a lighter side, it is concluded that men use 12,495 during the day and work leaving only 5 words when they get home. One article that I read continued that when a man gets home three of his last 5 words are “what’s for dinner” and the final two are “good night”.

So, now that we have a thought of how many words people use, that still does not answer the question of how many phrases a person may use in a day, but we do know that people either use words or phrases to either build people up or tear people down.   David in the Psalms wrote “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer”. He also wrote “The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good”. He continues “They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows”. Proverbs records “The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them”.  In other words, some of the words that people say are good and others are not so good.

I am also preparing for premarital classes with a couple that I will marry in January. One book that I use and reference is The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. In his book he discusses the concept of five languages that couples, and I would suggest that can define a single person could have. One of these languages is Words of Affirmation. Dr. Chapman quotes Mark Twain when he [Twain] said “I can live for two months on a good compliment”. I think that people need more than this. I know I do, and this is the point that I am working toward, and prayerfully this will have meaning for you also.

I work in a Customer Service Call Center. I work for Alabama Power. Put those two together and picture the middle of summer when their power is out and imagine the words that come out of some of my customers mouths. Got it? Picture rush hour traffic after a long day and you are ready to get home and someone has either cut you off, or someone is taking their Sunday drive on a Monday afternoon. Picture that you are one of many families who are struggling through this economy and you are wondering how to make ends meet. The conversation that you have with your spouse is heard by your children and leaves little to be desired. Then you get out of your car at church and want everyone to act like everything is Ok. I mean, look at the position you hold! What would people think?

Go back to Customer Service. One thing that the reps like is to have their customer speak to their supervisor about the good job they did in handling their situation. The reason is for the outcome. The supervisor will send out an email to both call centers letting people know about the good job that was done. I have gotten close. I have transferred a customer to my supervisor, but nothing was ever sent out. My spirits were down, because to this day, I have not reached that milestone, and according to scripture should not worry if I do.

The Lord led me to Matthew 6. Matthew, in this portion of his book writes on was Jesus taught about giving to the needy, prayer fasting, money and worry. Throughout this chapter, Jesus encourages us in that there are those on earth that will get their reward while here, and there are those that the Lord will bless. Consider Matthew 6: 4, 8, 18, 19-20 and 33.

As far as words of affirmation go, I like them and this is my love language. I enjoy it when Sandy tells me that I have done a good job, or simply says “thank you”. She tells me that sometimes I fish for compliments. I need words of affirmation, but I guess I really don’t need the entire world knowing what I have done, because with what I say or do, it needs to be to God’s glory. He needs to be glorified by it and He promises that he will reward those positive and good things I do, even in secret.

How are your words and phrases? Are they words of affirmation? Do they build up or tear down? Do you look for the praise of men, or do you look for Jesus to stand as he did for Stephen because He was honored by his words and deeds.